These five examples of what NOT to do in a college essay will help your application stand out and not get lost in the admissions pile.
- Make Someone Else the Protagonist
I see this at least a dozen times each application season: I finish reading a college application essay and think to myself: “Well, now I want to admit that grandfather to my school.” Or that best friend. Or that sibling. I understand the inclination to write an essay about a relationship you have with someone else, especially someone who passed away, or who has had a tremendous influence on your life. I get it. However, if your essay ends up being 70% about this other person rather than yourself, then you’re writing a biography, not a personal statement. Instead, you can skip this as a topic entirely to avoid the mistake, or pay special attention to revealing your own character. Ask yourself, how did this person change me? What did I learn from this person? How did this relationship reveal or form my principles?
Ultimately, you need to be the protagonist of your own essay, the master of your own writing.
- Tell a Story from Early in Life
Colleges want to know about who you are – who you are currently, that is. While I recognize that some students have had significant life events occur before the age of fourteen, typically, colleges want to see the character development and person you are in high school far more than they want to read a story about middle school or elementary school. Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t include elements of what happened in your past (flashbacks are great for this!) in your more modern narrative, but I would caution you against making the entire story take place in, say, sixth grade.
Instead, show the reader how the significant events of your childhood impact your life today. For example, how does the fact that you immigrated to America when you were seven years old influence your current high school experience? Or, how did the fact that your parents adopted a sibling when you were age nine create the person you are today? In both of these cases, you can talk about the life-changing events that happened pre-high school, but through the lens of your current experiences, current reality, and current decision-making process. “Current” is the key word to remember here – because colleges want to know who you are currently.
- Forget to Answer: So What?
A classic mistake students make when writing their personal statements is to assume far too much knowledge on the part of their readers. They assume that if they tell their story, the reader will automatically understand the story’s significance to their lives. False. With such a short word limit – 650 words – students are responsible for not only telling their story, but actively interpreting it for their readers. Think of it as a form of “hand-holding” for your reader. You need to accomplish both: plot narration + personal interpretation.
Let me give you an example: imagine two students, otherwise identical in stats, extracurriculars, grades, etc… and both of them have parents who are divorcing. Student A recognizes how her parents’ divorce changed her relationship with her sister, how she became a caregiver, and how it fosters independence in an otherwise unhappy situation. Student B reacted differently: getting a job, throwing himself into his artwork and creative writing, and channeling his frustration into artistic expression and invention. Two students, two totally different reactions to the same event. And this is what makes us human! We all interpret the world around us differently, we all react differently even to similar life events.
So when you’re writing your personal statement, remember to ask yourself: so what? What did this story mean for me specifically? Why was it important to me?
- Have Too Many Stories
If you try to squeeze into a movie plot 1) an epic battle between good and evil, 2) a satirical take on modern society, 3) a failed romance, 4) a murder mystery, and 5) a prison break….well…we all know how that movie will fare when it’s reviewed: “I felt like I was watching three separate films….”
The same principle applies to your personal statement – in fact, it’s even more vital to keep in mind because a movie plot tends to have at least two hours to work with, whereas the personal statement is only 650 words long. It is far better to tell one story well – rich in detail and interpretation – than to tell three stories badly.
If you find that you have too many topics to cover, take a step back and think strategically: which topic is your most important, and which ones can you save for your supplemental essays?
- Be Boring
I had a creative writing teacher back in college who always said, “If you’re boring yourself, you’re doing it wrong.” And he would then go on to encourage us to “throw a rabid tiger in there, or a good old hurricane” so that we would liven up our plots. This advice was likely also for his own benefit, so he didn’t fall asleep grading all our short stories.
Nevertheless, the point holds true: if you’re bored, your audience will be bored. Yes, I know, you’re writing about your own life, not some imaginary tropical jungle where a rabid tiger is a possibility. But this is why it’s essential to pick an experience that is memorable and meaningful in your life. And when you reread your college essay, ask yourself: am I bored? Perhaps your story needs humor, perhaps your story needs suspense or mystery, or perhaps your story needs a plot twist. But the bottom line is that your story must captivate your readers and keep them on the edge of their seats, or else it will be forgettable – which is exactly what you don’t want to be to an admissions officer.